I've always had a strong reaction to books. Especially ones that are in a series. Seeing numerous characters again, and feeling what your favorite characters in the story are feeling always make me feel like the author has done their job in making me believe in this scenario they have laid out within the pages. This particular reaction I had was so strong that I wanted to examine why I had such a reaction. For those that are waiting to read the books, or haven't read them all, you might want to skip this part because I'm about to give spoilers...done, okay skip down and continue.
So the part that made me throw down the book in frustration was when the main character realized that she was in love with her best friend (a werewolf). Granted, she was pretty much already committed to marrying her boyfriend (a vampire), but she had found her soul mates in two different people, one for the "human world" and the other for the "vampire world" that she would have to join in order to stay with her vampire beau. When the heroine realizes she loves the more human of the two, she sees their entire future together. Knowing that she would be happy and loved and knowing that she would love him as much as he loved her, she still couldn't leave the vamp.
This frustrates me mostly because (in the context of the world Meyer has created) the heroine would have to become a vampire in order to stay with the vamp, and that means that for the first several years after she changes, she'll be a blood-thirsty savage who might not be the same person anymore. I think the hardest part for me to grasp is why she would go through with this, becoming someone else entirely, changing practically her entire being for someone when the other guy is not asking her to do anything like that at all.
Maybe because it's that I've never met someone I would give up my entire life for, but the fact that she chose that one over the other just makes me feel frustrated. I think it's been too ingrained in me since I was younger that I don't need to change. I guess since essentially it was her choice, it shouldn't really matter what I think, but it still bothers me. Maybe it's the fact that the hopeless romantic in me is finally keeling over and dying that is making me feel this way. I just don't see how someone would want to give up not only their life but their human experiences, in essence their humanity. I know, I know, it's just a book, but it kind of erks me at the end of the book, when Meyer is talking about the wedding fixing to happen between human and vamp, there are little iron on t-shirt decals at the end of the book--one for each guy.
WHAT in tarnation?!
To me, her choosing the vampire over the werewolf, and then choosing to basically give up her life pretty much sealed the deal that they were going to get married. And then finding those things in the back....more frustration. I'm totally on the best friends side. I'm pretty much all on his team. I think I need to read the books again when I'm not feeling so negative about love though. I think that might help. I know love exists in all different kinda ways, but I guess I have never personally experienced anything that would make me want to give up everything for that one person. I'm not going to be settling for anyone less then I deserve, but I still don't know what's going to happen when I finally meet the one guy that makes my hair stand on end. I can't wait for that day, but until then I'm a bit cynical. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me is not dead completely, but only taking a sleep for a bit...
I'm sure none of this makes any sense at all. People that haven't read the book probably have no idea what the hell I am talking about, so I'm not sure where my train of thought was going. It was actually going to go on an entirely different tangent, but then I started this blog before I had finished the book. Before I had realized it was going to turn that way. I had been aware that there would be a love triangle, so I was waiting for over four hundred pages of this last book for there to actually be a love triangle. I have no idea what's going to happen with the last and final book in the series, but after reading her website and really reading some of the things she's said, I know that the fourth and final book will end with her choosing the vampire and then she'll start another series starring the werewolf. It's going to frustrate me to no end, I know this...and yet I'll still keep reading. Because that's the allure of a great author. She keeps us coming back for more. Frustrated still. But I think maybe reading the books again, slower this time, and more thoroughly will help me understand why she made the choices she did.
I'm a freak I know it. But these are the thoughts that have been leaving me thinking for a few days. So yeah, that's about it. My thoughts for the moment. Sporadic and non-sencical. But that's just me.